No adult likes being told what to do. The person with dementia is no different. So, if you let the trivial things go and only address major issues, both of your lives will be much less stressful.

Human beings naturally need to feel needed and loved, and people with dementia are no different. We must provide this for them by showing them love, allowing them to help with tasks, including them whenever possible, and setting them up for success.

Use “behavior acceptance.” If we look at a behavior as part of the disease process and there is a reason behind it, people tend to respond more effectively.

Be more directive, and not as demanding. Instead of saying “Your clothes are dirty. Go change them please.” You could try saying “Let’s go change our clothes so we can go grocery shopping.” Because you are involving yourself, it is less threatening.

Live by the phrase: “We can’t control what comes our way, but we can control how we respond.” Since the person with dementia isn’t going to be able to change, we have too. We can work to change our focus to “How can I best respond to this situation/ behavior?” instead of looking at the person with dementia as being “the problem.”

Alzheimer’s disease is a neurological disorder that causes confusion and can affect ambulation. Due to the effect of the brain, the person with Alzheimer’s can experience difficulty with perception which can affect the way a person walks. A shiny wooden floor may appear to be wet; a strip of black carpet may appear to be a threshold to be crossed. This can lead to unsteadiness.

The difficulty is that medication can also cause confusion and unsteadiness. As a family member, it is important that you continually monitor your loved one’s behavior. If they have switched to a new medication, or changed the dosage of a current one, it’s important to look for side effects. Sudden increases in confusion are usually because of medication. Alzheimer’s does not typically progress that rapidly.

Watching for side effects, and speaking with your loved ones physician can help create an effective way to deal with your loved ones confusion and unsteadiness.

As the person’s needs change, so does the role of the caregiver. As the disease continues to progress, your loved one will need more and more care. The caregiver’s role will evolve from making sure your loved one can maintain as much independence as possible to taking responsibility for nearly constant care.

If you are providing all of, or most of the care for your loved one, you will go through many different emotions as you cope with the challenges and demands of your new role. Many people will experience anger, resentment, and cycles of grief as the person you care for loses the ability to relate or communicate. When caregiving becomes too much to handle it can even result in a burnout.

In the U.S. approximately 70% of people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s remain in their own homes, with the help of a spouse or other family member, throughout the course of the illness. Caring for a loved one with dementia can be very demanding and challenging. Fortunately, there are services to help as the loved ones needs change. They include support groups, home health support, adult day care, respite care, and hospice care. There is no need to deal with the ups and downs of caregiving on your own. Let people help you.

Removing clutter from around the floor is also very important. Items such as foot stools, baskets, kids toys, or plants on the floor increase confusion and can be unsafe. Remove obstacles.

There are also many products that can increase safety and security around the house, such as bells, alarms, and locks that can prevent your loved one from wandering out of the house.

• Limit caffeine and alcohol.
• Try to keep your loved one active as much as possible during the day.
• Discourage naps during the day.
• Plan relaxing activities close to bed time.
• Keep a bedtime routine, but remain flexible.
• Ensure comfort with room temperature, and comfortable clothing.
• Ask the doctor about medications that may disturb sleep.
• Don’t make bedtime to early.
• Use night lights in the bedroom, hallways, and bathroom.
• If they fall asleep on the couch, let him or her sleep there.
• Keep your physician informed so he or she can intervene if necessary.

When grieving you will likely go through multiple different stages. Some don’t experience as many stages as others, or experience them at different levels.  The grieving process is an individual process and each person will go through it in their own unique way.

The usual stages of grief are:

• Shock
• Denial
• Depression
• Physical symptoms of distress
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Guilt
• Hesitancy to keep up normal activities
• Healing of memories
• Acceptance

Since Alzheimer’s has multiple stages, it is possible that you will experience the grieving process for each stage. Know that it is a common response. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself be angry. Deal with your feelings and then you will be in a better emotional state to help your loved one.

To journal is to put your feelings down on paper, just between you and the pages. If you worry that someone may go through it, just keep it in a secure place. But not so secure you forget to write in it!

Make journaling part of your routine. It doesn’t necessarily have to be daily, but just on a regular basis. It’s like exercise for your brain and emotions. It doesn’t have to be long time consuming stories either, just enough that you can get things off your chest. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Deal with your guilt, resentment, anger, fear, or any other emotions you feel. If you are feeling these things, you need to deal with them, and journaling is a healthy way to do that.  For many caregivers the journaling process can help them to release some of the feelings and thoughts that have been troubling them.

Overall journaling can help relieve a lot of stress. Leaving you to be in a better state as a caregiver, and thus in a better position to take care of your loved one.

A support group is highly recommended to aid with coping strategies.   Being around others that are experiencing or have already experienced what you are going through can be a tremendous benefit.  Not only can they offer you advice on how to cope with the trials and tribulations of what you are going through, they can act a living proof that there may be light at the end of the tunnel. There are support group’s designed to address the needs of everyone involved in the process.  Finding the right support group can help a family work through the process.

If you think your loved one may outlive his or her money, you can choose a facility that accepts Medicaid to cover the cost of their care.  This can keep your loved one in the same spot and avoiding moving her.  However, you still must be concerned about whether or not they will have openings when your loved one’s funds are exhausted.  Changing to new environments can be difficult for a person with dementia.

Long-term care is a difficult path to travel. Without proper planning it can be result in financial devastation and even eat away at your hard earned savings. For information on the process, contact Jones Elder Law today.

Just because more than one of your family members is affected by Alzheimer’s does not necessarily indicate that your family has one of the strongly-inherited forms of Alzheimer’s disease.

As a suggestion to those who have a loved one with Alzheimer’s, you need to deal with it in a constructive way. It may be hard, but it’s not worth ruining your quality of life over something that may or may not happen. If you are still worried about it join a support group. If there isn’t one available, start your own. Even going out to coffee with other family members who have loved ones with Alzheimer’s can help.