“Too rich for most government-funded social programs and not rich enough to pay for full-time, long-term care services.”

Does this sound familiar? It is exactly the kind of financial situation most elderly find themselves in today, and one which requires many adult children who are still raising their own kids to also care for their parents. That is the situation in which Michelle Singletary, Washington Post staff writer, finds herself in today. In her W.P. article Prepare now for a future that might include caring for your elderly family, she describes the feelings of frustration, admiration, and obligation that come with caring for her elderly father-in-law.

Singletary writes movingly about the realities of caring for an aging relative, but what she seems most determined to convey is that it is never too early to start thinking about what your own parents’ future holds. “If you have even an inkling that you may become the caregiver for an aging parent or relative, start planning for it now. Ask questions about the person’s finances. Collect information from community and nonprofit organizations. Get your own finances in order because you’ll probably have to pitch in financially.”

Part of planning for your aging parent or relative is thinking about Medicaid, Long-Term Care Insurance, and the best way to save and protect your assets. Call our firm and let us help you—and help your aging parents.

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The number of people serving as caregivers has exploded in recent years, and according to PR Newswire the number of caregivers now tops 65 million people (29% of the population of the US.) This includes people providing care for elderly adults, special needs children, young adults with disabilities, and more. These caregivers are people who offer their time, energy and financial support to ensure that their loved one—parent, child, sibling, grandparent—lives a life of joy and comfort. It is admirable and often selfless work… and it can take its toll on the caregiver.

Many caregivers are working so hard to take care of everyone around them that they forget to take care of themselves. Their health will often suffer, their financial security goes untended, and their own social interactions fall by the wayside. All of this can quickly lead to one thing: Caregiver Burnout.

Although we don’t hear much about it, Caregiver Burnout is a very real phenomenon. Described as similar to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Cargiver Burnout can cause depression, withdrawal from society, self-neglect, erratic behavior, and at its worst—suicidal tendencies.

But there are ways to combat the onset of Caregiver Burnout. HelpGuide.org provides an entire section on how to recognize and prevent Caregiver Burnout, including tips for family caregivers and a list of some of the warning signs of Caregiver burnout. And that’s not all, this article in PR Newswire offers 10 steps caregivers can take to ensure they take care of themselves financially.

If you are the caregiver in your family it is essential that you (and your fellow family members) recognize the difficulty of the work you do. Be aware of your limits, respect them, and don’t be afraid to put yourself first. Caring for yourself isn’t the selfish thing to do; it’s the smart thing to do.

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A recent article in the New York Times calls choosing a nursing home for your loved one “one of the hardest [decisions] you will ever make;” and yet it is a decision that almost all of us will have to think about eventually (whether for a grandparent, parent, spouse, or for ourselves.) It is a decision that is made infinitely more difficult if you are forced to make it under pressure.

But choosing a nursing home doesn’t have to be the difficult and unpleasant decision we think it will be, not if you know what to look for, and have the time to really review all your options. Walecia Konrad, author of the article mentioned above, breaks the process down into four steps, and gives valuable advice on how to approach each individual step:

1. Doing the research
2. Visiting the homes
3. Asking the right questions
4. Consulting the experts

The home you eventually choose will be a very personal decision based on a number of factors; location, the preferences of your loved one and your family, health, and of course finances; but having all the right information—and confidence in your ability to evaluate that information—is a key part of making this very personal and very emotional decision.

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According to the New York Times, “an estimated 38 million Americans provide care to an aging relative.” With numbers like this you would think this would be a frequent topic of conversation within families, but this is rarely the case. Unfortunately, because we tend to avoid the uncomfortable subject of our parents aging, most families are unprepared when mom or dad begins to need help (either physical or financial). But denial can’t stop the inevitable from happening; it only means that you and your siblings will be unprepared when the time does come to care for mom or dad.

What this article in the New York Times stresses is the importance of planning as a family. Parents may think that by keeping their troubles to themselves they’re saving their children stress and heartache, but evidence shows that sons and daughters do end up shouldering part of the burden—financially, physically and emotionally. It stands to reason that if they’re going to share responsibility, these responsible children should have some part in the planning process as well.

The Times article offers some suggestions on how to discuss the issue of aging with your parents and your siblings, and how to prepare for the future together, including how to:

* Open the conversation with your parents and siblings.

* Assess financial conditions and options—including Medicare.

* Learn about care options and their costs.

Don’t wait to have this conversation. As financial gerontologist Rosanne Roge is quoted as saying, “The most important thing is to recognize that it’s likely that elders who live a long time are going to need some help… and you have to pay for it some of the time.” The best time to prepare is now.

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My parents had a bar-b-que the other day with many of our friends, family and loved ones in attendance. In this setting I always prepare myself for the inevitable barrage of ambulance chaser barbs. I was meeting with mild success deflecting these barbs by pointing out that I do not even handle those kinds of cases, when one of my father’s golfing buddies quipped “why would I hire an elder law attorney when all I have to do is transfer my assets to my kids before I go into the home.”

And that statement is exactly why he should consult with an Elder Law attorney. You see the Medicaid statutes contain provisions that govern the treatment of transfers just like the ones he was referring to. The government has decided that they do not want someone to move into a nursing home one day and transfer all of their assets to their children or virtually anyone else the following day so they can become eligible for Medicaid on the third day. In order to prevent such an activity, the Medicaid provisions invoke what is referred to as a transfer penalty.

If a Medicaid applicant has made a transfer of assets for less than fair market value, there will be a penalty imposed on that transfer. The penalty will be in the form of a delay in the applicant’s eligibility for Medicaid. The penalty period is based upon the amount or value of the assets transferred and the cost of care in your respective state. So for example if my father’s golfing buddy were to transfer $75,000 to his kids and then go into a home the next day, assuming that the average cost of care has been determined by his state Medicaid department to be $5,000, he would have a penalty period of 15 months ($75,000 ÷ $5,000 = 15 months).

Where, you may wonder, does the Elder Law attorney’s planning come into to play then? Well transfers that occurred either five (5) or three (3) years (depending on your state and the type of transfer) will not be assessed a transfer penalty. Additionally, an Elder Law attorney can help you structure such a transfer so that it is for fair market value or that the transfer may be made to persons or groups that are eligible to receive such transfer, thereby avoiding the transfer penalty.